And to break this frickin cycle.

I am a sophomore in high school.
I shouldn't be worrying about college.
But I really want to get everything done.
Community college has always felt kind of.... dumb in my mind. But other colleges are too expensive, seeing as I have to pay for it by myself.
Make sure I have all of the classes that I need to take to even possibly get into college.
I'm pretty sure that I want to be a Veterinary Assistant, but it's hard to find a school that specializes in Veterinary sciences.
There are only 24 in America.
Shoot.
There are more that teach veterinary assistant courses, but not many.
There aren't many that give even Associates degrees in the course.
Most just give a certificate, if anything.
I have found one- Pierce College- that gives an Associates degree for Veterinary Sciences.
*This next part is soley for my own purposes, but you are more than glad to look over it*

Pros:
Location: It's in Washington.
They have a Writing Center.
Freshmand Orientation is going to help me a lot.
Only about 20 miles from Seatlle.
No application fee.
About $7,000.
They have Veterinary Assistance course, which offers an Associates degree.
They have a student newspaper. With this, I can keep up with journalism.
Concert band.
Choral group. (Just in case I wish to start/continue these two.)
Drama.
Small city.
Bird Refuge. That's pretty neat.

Overall: Pierce College is a good choice for me. So far.
Depending on how naive I am, at this moment.


Cons:
About $7,000.
Community College makes me feel like I could do better.
Smal city- Don't really know how I feel about this.
To the students sitting next to me.
More frustration comes from you people.
Todays delema: Hyphenating.
They didn't know what it was. Didn't know how to do it.
Didn't know WHAT IT WAS, let me state again.
COME ON.
Seriously.
THANK GOD they are failing this class. It pisses me off when unworthy people pass classes.

Now they're talking about the difference between blunts and joints. Seriously. You're failing this class, do you realize this? And you're talking about weed.
You're going to have to take this class AGAIN as Juniors.
Then probubly again as Seniors.

They are watching videos about weed and blunts.
Freaking out about what will happen if Ricker sees.
Not realizing that he can see what everyone is doing via his computer.
Oh, the advantages there must be of being a teacher.

Now they're looking up how to get weed perscibed to you.
On a school computer, where everything is blocked.

It's so cliche, but,
People now-a-days.

The 21st Century has no hope.

Shut up shut up shut up shut up.
JESUS.
This class. Seriously.
Each morning, just like any other high school, we all stand up and say the pledge.
Expecially since the recent Earthquake in Hati, we should be INCREDIBLY happy and proud that we live in this country, safe and sound (at the moment).
Nope. Not this class.
Halfway through the National Anthem, the kid who sits next to me comes in. We'll call him Frank.
So Frank prances in, his pants half-way down his thighs, acting all tough, music blasting from his ears, five minutes late.
The school isn't THAT big, and he deffinately could have gotten here sooner.
He comes in, with that.... that redicoulous noise coming out of his ears.
Sits down, logs on, and begins to play games.
Seriously.
I'd say 75% of us stand each morning, respectfully.
Who does this kid think he is?
He should be damn proud that he lives here.

I can't beleive people.

Onto a brighter note:
Yeasterday, our group finished the 30-minutes podcast. Wooho. (:
We had somewhere around 26 minutes. Shoot.
But we still got it finished.
Woo!
It will be uploaded, somehow, to my professional blog, along with every other article, podcast, and such.
I can't beleive this course is almost over.
I am deffinately going to miss it.

Plus, I have been really interested in colleges lately.
So far, I like Pierce College in Lakewood, Washington.
It's got a Veterinary Assistant program, which I am looking for.
Not sure about Journalism, yet.
I will do evrything in my power to make my future not look so bleak.

More later.
-Spencer.

Woody Guthrie said it best.

"Yes, as through this world I've wandered, I've seen lots of funny men; some will rob you with a six-gun, and some with a fountain pen." ~Woody Guthrie


Weapon of choice:
fountain pen.
His machine killed fascists.
This machine kills hypsters.

This machine is dying.

Let's just get this out of the way.
Whatever I say is probubly over dramatic and completely unture, but this is how I am feeling at this moment.

My life sucks.
I am sick of needing to depend on people.
I am sick of being dependent on everyone to help me do things.
I am sick of not being who I am.
I am sick of being what everyone wants me to be.

I am sick of people effecting how I feel.

I want to be my own damn person.
I would appreciate if everyone would just get off of my case.

I wish I could just say how I am feeling out loud.
I wish I didn't need a blog for my mental health.

Let me explain wht is going on lately:
1)
Women remember. A lot.
I don't express when something hurts me.
I just kind of store it away until it eats me alive.
For the past four months, everything that Dan has said that has effected me in a negative way, I just pushed it aside.
Well, there is no more room in my head for these things.
Keep in mind, the amount of space I save for these things isn't very large.
Still.
The room is full and about to burst.
2) People. People people people.
We were supposed to finish our podcast today, seeing as it was supposed to be due Wednesday, but Wednesday is a weird day for Sophomores, blah blah blah.
*Greene reschedualed it for Thursday. Thank. Goodness.*
Not the point. Yes, I am pointing fingers. I did what I was supposed to do.
I need a good grade in this class, goddamnit and I AM going to get it.
Melissa is sick today. That's fine. I understand. She has her flashdrive. Whatever. She's sick. I understand.
But there is NO excuse for these two.
Our group is made of four people. Five? Whatever. Four that I know of.
It's a 30 minuite podcast. Each person has to fill up seven minutes, or something like that.
Not important.
What is important is that we were assigned this back in the beginning of December.
600 words is not hard to write in a months time. Not hard at all.
It's due in three days. THREE. DAYS.
We're supposed to be recording.
But these two haven't even FINISHED their stories.
THEY HAVEN'T FINISHED THEIR STORIES.
I don't yell. Expecially not AT people.
Today, I did for the first time in years.
Years.
I have done two stories. 700 words each.
1,400 words, and they haven't even finish 700 combined.
Seriously.
Come. On.
Melissa and I are doing all of this damn work while they just sit back and goof off.
Pisses me off.
3) Recently I have realized that what I want to do with my life, I can't.
I can't do both things.
I can't be a veterinarian and a journalist. It just can't happen.
My time would be completely taken up by one or the other.
I like to sleep, so I can't be a journalist. At least, I can't be the journalist I want to be.
I'm not a fan of science, so I can't be a vet.
I can either be a low-core journalist, writing for some lame magazine or newspaper that nobody reads, or be a terrible vet.
Shoot.

The future isn't looking good.
Not for Spencer
And not for the world.
In other words,
This machine is dying.

We could do it. We'd make a great team.

We could be the best of friends.
I just know we could.
We could overcome this world, you and I.
Together.
Friendship.
We have so much in common.
Our music taste, what foods we like.
The list goes on and on.
I can see us together, driving around town.
Together.
Spread our wings.
Let the wind tak us where it will.
Plotting our defeat of the meat industry.
Together.
You and I.
We'd make the best team
This world has ever seen.
Do you see this too,
Or is it just me?
I hope someday we can try
and be the greatest of friends.
That's all I'm looking for.
A friend.
Someone who I can talk to.
About everything.
School. Relationships. Everything.
Everything.
Not holding back.
Flying on the wind.
You and I.
Together.
Friends.

What

Damnit
Damnit Damnit Damnit Damnit.
If things could go right for just one day, I'd be extremely greatful.
Let me fill you in on the past week(ish).
On Wednesday, we had a snow day. Yay. (:
The drama club put on A Chirstmas Carol on Friday and Saturday night.
Friday's went great, except that we forgot the grave stone on stage, long after it was supposed to come off, a table fell, and a hat was nowhere to be found.
Saturday's went better. We remembered the grave stone, and everything went fairly well, minus a few line mess ups.
Sunday, yesterday.
I went over Dan's house, just like any other Sunday.
We had his moms lasagna, which was delicious.
After dinner, Dan and I went to watch Repo! The Genetic Opera.
(He didn't like it.)
Afterwards, we were playing around.
Wretling, and whatnot.
When he was on top of me, pinning me down, and I tell him to stop, he doesn't.
He just keeps laying there, as I am defenseless.
But, when I am kinding getting ahead in the game and he tells me to stop and I don't, he gets pissed.
Incredibly mad.
Which made me angry at him.
Among other things.
He has just made me so angry lately, I can't help it.
It bothers me that he worries so much; I can take care of myself.
Everything he says makes me tick lately.
Let's just hope it goes away.