It's been built up for months now. The explossion will come it parts.

Part 1:

You don't understand.
No matter how much I am with you.
I am still alone.

I am alone.

I wish I had friends.
One really good friend.

I don't feel as if we are friends.

I feel as if I have no friends.

Don't go saying "but you do have friends" or any of that crap, because step back and look at it.

I don't
have
any.

Let me list who I consider friends:
1. Momma.
2. Polarbear.
3. Tony.
4. Mother nature.

Four.
Four
One of which is a person.
My mom.

The people who will be there for me.
And I feel that.

List of people I consider closish to, but would leave if and when they are given the cahnce:
Dan.
Jackie.
*Quite frankly, these two would be my "extended 'friends' list"*
Everyone else.

Let's be honest.
Nobody cares.
Nobody will.

I really want someone who I can do things with.
I want a goddamn friend.