PETA.

Dear PETA,
You are insane. To save animals, you theaten people. Your regulations are redicoulous and nothing you do ever makes sense. Your standards are redicoulous. Sure, animals aren't treated as they should be. But you're not helping. Not the way you think you are, at least.
Also, in your catalog, things are rated with 'rabbits,' instead of stars. 4.5 rabbits. You cut apart a harmless little bunny. HIPOCRISY.

Just kidding,
Spence.

P.S. No seriously, you are insane.