Move, move, shake, shake, drop?

Can I get some Helvetica up in here, please?
Much better. Thanks.

I've been writing a lot lately.
No, I haven't finished anything, so don't ask.
Well, I've been listening to a lot of rap lately.
Because, you know. I'm so black.
Why, you ask? Well, I guess it makes me feel more intelligent.
And it makes my stuff look, well, better.
Let me tell you some of my favorites thus far.

These first few are from Plan B- Charmaine:
The best of both worlds, caramel complection/
And I swear when she smiled I almost got an erection.
Really? Really? ....Really?

When she gave me the wink, I could only think of my genitals.
All right, this is British, so genitals sounded a little more suave than the nerdy-sounding American accent. But still. Really? That's all you could think about?

Her arse is tight and her breasts are bloody enormous!
Unfortunately, you can't buy respect.

Hand in hand, we walk over to the doorman/ He's got a big shiny head yo he looks like George Foreman.
What an irrelivent line. Also, why the added 'yo'? Mh. It's tough being a rapper.

We get a cab back to my place where we get it on.
Poetry.

The next verse is all about having sex with this girl. Awesome. Let's pass on that, shall we?

So I was talking to one of my boys the very next day/
And I told him all about me and Charmaine/
He looks at me in a very strange way/
And asks me in De la Rosa is her surname/
If she's mixed race and her eyes are green/
I say, "yeah" he replies "blud.... that girls fourteen."
....
.....
WHAT.
WHY would you even THINK to write a song like this? Why would you even imagine having sex with a fourteen year old girl?


Needless to say, after listening to this song, just once, I feel a lot better.
Confidence boost. Awesome.