Oh, the memories.

Ryan and I were talking today, and we stumbled upon the topic of memories.
He asked what my favorite memory was, or something of the sort.
My mind raced.
I remember March 17th, 2003.
In our small little town, in the court room.
I remember grandma leading my sister and I out of the courtroom, where my parents were divorcing.
I remember sitting with her and my young sister.
I remember being held by mom as she cried.
I remember Grammie pulling me away from hugging Mom and Grandma, and even Great-Grandma.
I remember Gandpa's hand on the window as we drove away.
I remember the plane ride, crying.
I remember every summer since fifth grade.
I remember the pouring of the salt into the wounds.
I remember them fighting through me.
I remember feeling unloved, by both of my families. Not from the lack of love or lack of attention, but from the abundance of fighting and bickering.
I remember having to emotionally fend for both my sster and I.
I remember feeling unwanted.

I couldn't remember a single happy thing that has happened in my life.

It's easy to dwell on the bad, the poor, the ugly. But that isn't going to get you anywhere.
There is just so much suck, it looks like it towers over everything else.
But if we could dwell on the possitive as much as we do the negative, that would be fantasic.
Yeah, maybe there is a lot of suck in the world, there always will be.
But if we could just shrug off the suck and focus on the good, things would be better.
Of course, we all have the days when all we can do is dwell on the terrible things, but if you sit back and realize all of the possitives in our lifves, it becomes easier.
A checks and balances for the soul.

It's hard to sound possitive when you feel so negative.
But if one, lonely, 16-year-old girl who has yet to do anything for this world can do it, anyone can.

DFTBA.