Shoot.

So, recently I've gained weight.
See, I've had problems with my body imagine for years now.
Recently, it's been poo, seeing as I have been gaining weight.
And I can tell you why I have been gaining this weight.
Lately, I haven't been happy.
Which means, I have not been happy dancing.
The happy dancing kept me fit.
Now that I am not happy, I am not happy-dancing, well, at all.
Hence!
Making me fat.

Everything I've ever kept from you.

I'm sick of keeping things in.
Secret messages:

1.
You.
You are so beautiful.
I just don't think you understand.

2.
I wouldn't mind spending all night talking to you in Facebook status'.

3.
Whattheheck.
I'm sorry. What more can I say?
I'm freaking sorry.

4.
We need to be better friends.
I'm sorry I let you slip.
Come back.

5.
Yeah.
I liked your other half for quite some time.
In fact, I still do.
I actually get a little jealous sometimes.
But, it's whatever. Maybe someday.

6.
We could be the best of friends;
I know we could.

Six Words.

English class. First block.
Mrs. Bernard gives us an assignment.
"Write a six word sentence that will make an impression."
"Write six words about your life."
"Write six words that explain some kind of an event, like a birthday."

Let me just say, I love this assignment.
So, over the next couple of months, I will be posting six word blogs.
Six word blogs about how everything is going.
Six word blogs about how I am feeling.
Six word blogs about people I meet.

Let's start off with this one:

New friends. Let's make this last.

One more, for a goodbye:

Lost: One girl's will to live.

Ladies.

Whatever.
It's been a rough day.
But I haven't updated in a while, so it's about time to.
I've been reading a lot. That's nice.
Also, I'm making a bookcase out of boxes.
I just need to think of a way to kind of, connect the two columns.
It will be easier to under stand when I actually finish putting it together.
Hm.

I thought, maybe I'd do two other posts this evening, but, just one will do. I'll put one of my main things here.
Let's get this out of the way:

Dear Dan,
Please, please, please stop.
You make me feel terrible all of the time. When you hug me, I feel like you're still holding on to what cannot be. I feel like you're not moving on. Please stop dweling in the past. Someday, you will meet someone awesome and she (or he. Don't judge.) will love you. I can not be that person. I've told you this before.
s hanging out all the time isn't helping. I still want to be there for you and everything.
But, like on Saturday, when Dustin (I think it was Dustin. Not the point) intoduced me as "dan's girlfriend", I could have screamed and gotten angry and cried all right there and then. What made me angrier was that you didn't say anything. You just accepted it. You didn't even try to explain. You didn't even flinch. I really wish you would've said something. I know it's hard, but still. It's the truth, and the truth sucks.

Hm.
And now I sound like a bitch.
Yay.


Next up, Six Words.

As I sit here alone.

It's 7:08 in the morning, and I am alone in the school library.
I have about ten minutes before I need to get up and head off to class.
So, let me fill you in.

Dan and I broke up a little over a week ago.
Bummer.
But, I broke it off.
Shocker, huh?
Crazy, moody, awkard, lesbian(ish) thing breaks it off with the greatest guy in the world.
Friggin excellent.
Everything will be okay, I know it will be.
I've been to hell and back.
I've been to hell, but I have never left.
But I am still living.
I am, getting through all this crap, and surpassing everyone's previous thoughts on how far I'd get in life.
He is also going places, and will get over this.

Some girl yelled at me
"SUSANNAH DOESN'T LIKE YOU. GET OVER IT."
Thanks?
I don't like her either?
Appreciate it.

I got punched in the head the other day.
Fun stuff.

I will add more later.
Ten minutes goes by quickly when we need to savor it;
Slow when we want it to go away.

-Spencer.