Book Odyssey: HELP.

I need some help with my book odyssey.
Truth be told, I need a list of books to read, and the list is getting thinner and thinner.
What is the book odyssey? Well, it is my personal goal to read 50 books in 2010.
That doesn't seem like a lot, I know, but it's a book a week. For a slow reader like me, that's a lot.
Not a lot, actaully. I just need to get into a schedule.
So, here's my dilema:
I hardly have any books left to read!
I like to have a list of what to read next, so I am prepared and not wasting my time looking for books (even though when your just scanning the shelves, that is when the best books come out) when the time comes to read another.
I am working of Book 7 now (almost done) which is The Catcher In The Rye by J.D. Salinger.
After this book, I have about three more that I want to read, including The Great Gatsby, Saving Molly, and Tell Me Where It Hurts. (Yes, I'm a sucker for animal biographies.)
Realize that I am ahead of schduale. If I was right on schedule, I would have just started book three, working my way to book four.
I am about a month ahead of schedule.
Let's call it three weeks, so I don't get to stuck up.
I want to finish my summer reading now, so I don't have to worry about it in Washington, even though I will probubly read even more there.
So, in the comments, tell me what book I should read next.
Now, I doubt that any comments will come in, because, let's face it, nobody reads this.

Fiction or biography. It's going to have to be a really great work of biography for me to read it. I am willing to read non-fiction, but it has to be an INCREDIBLY interesting topic.

If you are reading, comment what your favorite *fiction!* book is.

-Thanks.

Hopefully something intelligent next semester.

I am going to take a moment out of my time to discuss the stupidity of my classmates.

This is roughly how the conversation went:

SHE: *looking on the computer* Eathquake?
HE: What earthquake?
SHE: Apparently there was some earthquake in some weird place the other day.
HE: Really?
SHE: Yeah. Hat.... Hat-i?
HE: Hat i. (Pronounced Hat E.)
SHE: Yeah. Big, too, I guess.
HE: Like my dick?
SHE: *glare*
HE: Hate E. That near Cuba?
SHE: How am I supposed to know. Shoot.

At this point, I tune it out.
JESUS.
How can you not hear about a natural disaster.
Just goes to show how ignorant Americans are.

I love America, don't get me wrong.
But COME ON.

Thank goodness the semester is almost over.
I don't have to deal with these morons anymore.
Different morons, nonetheless.

To clear up the 'Where is Haiti?' question, Jamaica is to the west, and Cuba to the northwest or Haiti. Now you don't have to google it.

THANK YOU GREENE.

Bummer free zone in Journalism today. Apparently his first block students were all in a bad mood, so he created a bummer free zone.
Everytime you start a new conversation with someone, you have to say
"I love you; I respect you; I think you're a good person."
For the first time in the past week, I don't have the feeling as if I'm going to burst into tears.

Plus, I got the first half of my Journalism final back.
89? YES.
B+ ish?
DEFFINATELY could have been better.
It angers me that I missed all of these stupid little things.
But, YAY! B+!
Notes I got:
The research looks solid and the first page kicked butt as a personal narrative.
Then I lost control of my attribution. The hollywood stuff was distracting. (AGREE.)
Lack of indenting (not my fault. Eh).

Overall, YAY!
First glimmer of hope in the past two weeks!

Realization:
The only thing that has continuously made me happy, without any sort of imlications for the past couple of months, is this class.
What am I going to do when it's over?
On Wednesday?
I don't know what I'm going to do.

Truth.

I'm an inconsiderate bitch and I don't deserver you.
That's how I feel.

No, I don't trsut men.
Heck, I don't trust anyone, but that's not the point.
How could I say I don't trust you?
That's like saying why do you worry so much?
It's in my goddamn nature.

An, I mean, I'm sure you've lied to me before.

The crazy is coming out piece-by-piece.
Quite frankly, at the end of all of this, you'll just see me as another one of...
let's just call her 'the crazy girl.'
I'll be Crazy Girl 2.
And you'll tell everyone about how insane you were to even think about dating me.
And I'll go on ruining everybody's lives, one bit of crazy at a time.


I hope you read this,
so I can go on being the kid who keeps what's bothering her in her blog.

It's been built up for months now. The explossion will come it parts.

Part 1:

You don't understand.
No matter how much I am with you.
I am still alone.

I am alone.

I wish I had friends.
One really good friend.

I don't feel as if we are friends.

I feel as if I have no friends.

Don't go saying "but you do have friends" or any of that crap, because step back and look at it.

I don't
have
any.

Let me list who I consider friends:
1. Momma.
2. Polarbear.
3. Tony.
4. Mother nature.

Four.
Four
One of which is a person.
My mom.

The people who will be there for me.
And I feel that.

List of people I consider closish to, but would leave if and when they are given the cahnce:
Dan.
Jackie.
*Quite frankly, these two would be my "extended 'friends' list"*
Everyone else.

Let's be honest.
Nobody cares.
Nobody will.

I really want someone who I can do things with.
I want a goddamn friend.

Dan Alberts, this is my explination.

This morning before classes started, Dan and I were standing in the hall.
When I walked up, they had been talking about his twin brother Nick's $60,000 scolarship to Wells.
This is huge, in my opinion, and he should be extremely happy for his brother.
Eentually, Dan and I headed off to the drama room, where we stand every morning.
He started complaining about how his parents aren't going to pay for him to go to college.
"They'll pay for Nick to go to a $60,000 school, but won't pay for me to go to comunity college."
Quote-ish. Shouldn't quote tha, but it's just about what he said.
I have been keeping comments in lately. I told him that I wasn't going to go into what I thought about this.
Told him I would blog about it later.
Well, here it is.

Now, I'm not your parents, but this is how I see it.
Priorites.
You need to get them straight. You say you havn't been given the opertunites that he has.
Well, no. You don't go to a fancy shmancy private high school.
But you go to a damn good public high school.
There are MANY oppertunities here, and no, I don't think you took good use of them.
Not many people do.
But you could have.
Don't go pulling the Guidancce Counselors suck card on me.
I know they do.
But if you go to them and say you will do anything to get into these classes, do anything to succeed,
How can they turn you down?
They can't.
If you don't pass Drama, you're not graduating with your friends?
That doesn't make sence.
*sigh*
The process is easy, if you took the time to look it over and decided what you want to do.
So, should Nick not go to the best college he can get into because of money? No.
Nick is going places. I'm not saying you're not, because you are.
You just need to try harder.
I love you, and you know that.
If you don't change, oh well. It's your life.
I'll still be a part of it.
You just need to realize that if he doesn't get help, he isn't going to any of those colleges.
If your parents use his college money to pay for your college, you know how crappy that is going to make him feel?
Right now, he is going to need everyone.
He is lucky to have a brother like you.
You both need eachother, you have no idea.
I would do anything to have a sibling to be there for me.
Why do you think I am so damn excided to finally have one who I can help out.
Nobody has been here for me, and you know that.
You have two parents and a brother who would do anything for you.
Help them out.
Get a job, clean up the house, cook dinner every once in a while.
I would kill for the life you have. I wish you realized how lucky you actually are.

Page 67.

I started reading The Realm Of Possibilities by David Levithan yesterday. This chapter took me by storm.
I need to write this down so I don't lose it. This section is titled "Suburban Myths." This is just a section of it.

"There was this girl from Springfield who was
asked to prom by a guy who really, really,
hated her. He did it on a dare, and the girl was
unaware of it. She used all her money to buy
a dress and a flower for his jacket. The dress
was as white as a cloud in a dream and the
flower was a red rose. She waited on prom night
for him to pick her up. Instead he and his friends
drove by over and over while she waited on the curb,
holding the rose in her hand. Her dress
bilowed in the wind and sucked up all the dirt
from the tires as the boys called her a ferret
and honked so all the neighbors would see.
She couldn't take it and the next time they drove by
she jumped out in front. She went crashing through
the windshield and her dress fanned out in the
impact, suffocating them all. The rose
                                                               was not
                                                                            damaged.

The town of North Orange is still recovering
from the day the students came to biology class
and found their teacher lying on a table,
his chest cut open, his body dripping with
formaldehyde. The window was open and all
the frog tanks were
                             empty.   "


The second one is my favorite.
Such a moving event.

*Note: I did change Titling of words. Nothing else.

I Was Amelia Earhart.

"Love is so transparent that if you are unprepared for it you will see right through it and not even notice."


This book is pretty good, aside from some run-on sentences, odd ways to write conversations (zero quotation marks. I guess because it's a fiction book based on non-fiction events), and some weird sentences.

Book 5 in the Book Odyssey: I Was Amelia Earhart by Jane Mendelsohn.

The perfect day.

Build a snow fort together.
Sit in the snow fort and drink hot chocolate.
Go inside, change into sweats.
Fox and The Hound Dog.
A game of Life.
Pasta.
Cake.
Food. Lots of it.
Spending the night with eachother.
Just, sleeping.
In eachothers warm embrace.

This would be my perfect day.
What's yours?

Habits.

I have a really bad habit of not putting titles.
I have a bad habit of not indenting my articles and essays.
I have a bad habit of writing on myself.
I have a bad habit of worrying too much.
I have a bad habit of singing in the bathroom.
I have a bad procrastination habit.
I have a bad habit of trying to be funny.
I have a bad habit of making fun of my boyfriend.
I have a bad habit of trying to be nice.
I have a bad habit of forgetting.
I have a bad habit of listening to crap music.
I have a bad habit of being a crap writer.
I have a bad habit of thinking I can do things.
I have a bad habit of thinking too much.
I have a bait habit of not getting anything done.
I have a bad habit of wipping my nose.
I have a bad habit of complaining.
I have a bad habit of thoughts.
I have a bad habit of setting goals too high.
I have a bad habit of walking away.
I have a bad habit of stressing out.
I have a bad habit of not sleeping.

What are yours?
Get it out of the way.

Don't be afraid of showing the little bird that sings so clear.

Oddly enough, I have started to be inspired by you, in ways.
I've started looking at colleges, because you look so stressed out by them.
When I'm a senior, I want a plan.
Like you did, more or less.
I wish I could go the places that you are going.
Far and wide, you will succeed.

Even when you're at those far and wide places, I will still ask you for music.

And to break this frickin cycle.

I am a sophomore in high school.
I shouldn't be worrying about college.
But I really want to get everything done.
Community college has always felt kind of.... dumb in my mind. But other colleges are too expensive, seeing as I have to pay for it by myself.
Make sure I have all of the classes that I need to take to even possibly get into college.
I'm pretty sure that I want to be a Veterinary Assistant, but it's hard to find a school that specializes in Veterinary sciences.
There are only 24 in America.
Shoot.
There are more that teach veterinary assistant courses, but not many.
There aren't many that give even Associates degrees in the course.
Most just give a certificate, if anything.
I have found one- Pierce College- that gives an Associates degree for Veterinary Sciences.
*This next part is soley for my own purposes, but you are more than glad to look over it*

Pros:
Location: It's in Washington.
They have a Writing Center.
Freshmand Orientation is going to help me a lot.
Only about 20 miles from Seatlle.
No application fee.
About $7,000.
They have Veterinary Assistance course, which offers an Associates degree.
They have a student newspaper. With this, I can keep up with journalism.
Concert band.
Choral group. (Just in case I wish to start/continue these two.)
Drama.
Small city.
Bird Refuge. That's pretty neat.

Overall: Pierce College is a good choice for me. So far.
Depending on how naive I am, at this moment.


Cons:
About $7,000.
Community College makes me feel like I could do better.
Smal city- Don't really know how I feel about this.
To the students sitting next to me.
More frustration comes from you people.
Todays delema: Hyphenating.
They didn't know what it was. Didn't know how to do it.
Didn't know WHAT IT WAS, let me state again.
COME ON.
Seriously.
THANK GOD they are failing this class. It pisses me off when unworthy people pass classes.

Now they're talking about the difference between blunts and joints. Seriously. You're failing this class, do you realize this? And you're talking about weed.
You're going to have to take this class AGAIN as Juniors.
Then probubly again as Seniors.

They are watching videos about weed and blunts.
Freaking out about what will happen if Ricker sees.
Not realizing that he can see what everyone is doing via his computer.
Oh, the advantages there must be of being a teacher.

Now they're looking up how to get weed perscibed to you.
On a school computer, where everything is blocked.

It's so cliche, but,
People now-a-days.

The 21st Century has no hope.

Shut up shut up shut up shut up.
JESUS.
This class. Seriously.
Each morning, just like any other high school, we all stand up and say the pledge.
Expecially since the recent Earthquake in Hati, we should be INCREDIBLY happy and proud that we live in this country, safe and sound (at the moment).
Nope. Not this class.
Halfway through the National Anthem, the kid who sits next to me comes in. We'll call him Frank.
So Frank prances in, his pants half-way down his thighs, acting all tough, music blasting from his ears, five minutes late.
The school isn't THAT big, and he deffinately could have gotten here sooner.
He comes in, with that.... that redicoulous noise coming out of his ears.
Sits down, logs on, and begins to play games.
Seriously.
I'd say 75% of us stand each morning, respectfully.
Who does this kid think he is?
He should be damn proud that he lives here.

I can't beleive people.

Onto a brighter note:
Yeasterday, our group finished the 30-minutes podcast. Wooho. (:
We had somewhere around 26 minutes. Shoot.
But we still got it finished.
Woo!
It will be uploaded, somehow, to my professional blog, along with every other article, podcast, and such.
I can't beleive this course is almost over.
I am deffinately going to miss it.

Plus, I have been really interested in colleges lately.
So far, I like Pierce College in Lakewood, Washington.
It's got a Veterinary Assistant program, which I am looking for.
Not sure about Journalism, yet.
I will do evrything in my power to make my future not look so bleak.

More later.
-Spencer.

Woody Guthrie said it best.

"Yes, as through this world I've wandered, I've seen lots of funny men; some will rob you with a six-gun, and some with a fountain pen." ~Woody Guthrie


Weapon of choice:
fountain pen.
His machine killed fascists.
This machine kills hypsters.

This machine is dying.

Let's just get this out of the way.
Whatever I say is probubly over dramatic and completely unture, but this is how I am feeling at this moment.

My life sucks.
I am sick of needing to depend on people.
I am sick of being dependent on everyone to help me do things.
I am sick of not being who I am.
I am sick of being what everyone wants me to be.

I am sick of people effecting how I feel.

I want to be my own damn person.
I would appreciate if everyone would just get off of my case.

I wish I could just say how I am feeling out loud.
I wish I didn't need a blog for my mental health.

Let me explain wht is going on lately:
1)
Women remember. A lot.
I don't express when something hurts me.
I just kind of store it away until it eats me alive.
For the past four months, everything that Dan has said that has effected me in a negative way, I just pushed it aside.
Well, there is no more room in my head for these things.
Keep in mind, the amount of space I save for these things isn't very large.
Still.
The room is full and about to burst.
2) People. People people people.
We were supposed to finish our podcast today, seeing as it was supposed to be due Wednesday, but Wednesday is a weird day for Sophomores, blah blah blah.
*Greene reschedualed it for Thursday. Thank. Goodness.*
Not the point. Yes, I am pointing fingers. I did what I was supposed to do.
I need a good grade in this class, goddamnit and I AM going to get it.
Melissa is sick today. That's fine. I understand. She has her flashdrive. Whatever. She's sick. I understand.
But there is NO excuse for these two.
Our group is made of four people. Five? Whatever. Four that I know of.
It's a 30 minuite podcast. Each person has to fill up seven minutes, or something like that.
Not important.
What is important is that we were assigned this back in the beginning of December.
600 words is not hard to write in a months time. Not hard at all.
It's due in three days. THREE. DAYS.
We're supposed to be recording.
But these two haven't even FINISHED their stories.
THEY HAVEN'T FINISHED THEIR STORIES.
I don't yell. Expecially not AT people.
Today, I did for the first time in years.
Years.
I have done two stories. 700 words each.
1,400 words, and they haven't even finish 700 combined.
Seriously.
Come. On.
Melissa and I are doing all of this damn work while they just sit back and goof off.
Pisses me off.
3) Recently I have realized that what I want to do with my life, I can't.
I can't do both things.
I can't be a veterinarian and a journalist. It just can't happen.
My time would be completely taken up by one or the other.
I like to sleep, so I can't be a journalist. At least, I can't be the journalist I want to be.
I'm not a fan of science, so I can't be a vet.
I can either be a low-core journalist, writing for some lame magazine or newspaper that nobody reads, or be a terrible vet.
Shoot.

The future isn't looking good.
Not for Spencer
And not for the world.
In other words,
This machine is dying.

We could do it. We'd make a great team.

We could be the best of friends.
I just know we could.
We could overcome this world, you and I.
Together.
Friendship.
We have so much in common.
Our music taste, what foods we like.
The list goes on and on.
I can see us together, driving around town.
Together.
Spread our wings.
Let the wind tak us where it will.
Plotting our defeat of the meat industry.
Together.
You and I.
We'd make the best team
This world has ever seen.
Do you see this too,
Or is it just me?
I hope someday we can try
and be the greatest of friends.
That's all I'm looking for.
A friend.
Someone who I can talk to.
About everything.
School. Relationships. Everything.
Everything.
Not holding back.
Flying on the wind.
You and I.
Together.
Friends.