Imma buy you a drank?

Man, am I tired.
Jet laggy.
Not sleeping well.
Not eating, eaither, actually.
Since welanded on Thursday, I've had two peices of pizza, a single-serve lasagna, and a veggie egg roll.
I don't know, I just can't eat. I'm hungry, sure. Slightly. Not enough to actually eat anything.
And I just, can't. I don't know why.

I'm reading Dog again.
For the first time, full through.
It's funny, Dog was sleeping on Plum's bed, and she was reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, which is the one I have started.
I should be getting my new books soon. Within the next few days.
School starts tomorrow, and it couldn't start sooner.

But?

Let's set something straight.
I like women.
But I don't spend all my free time looking at half-naked women.
If there's a naked women on tv, I couldn't care less.
You don't have to tell me when there are naked women on tv.
I don't care.
I don't want to see them.
They can do whateer they want with their nakedness.
You don't need to warn me when there are women on tv.
I just, don't care, thanks.

Fact: I HATE water in my face. Can't stand it. Not in the shower, not at the beach. I. Can't. Stand. It.

What.

You just don't get it,
And you never will.
There is no justification.

Whatever.

So, what's been going on here?
Well, I've made plans on the 27th.
And I am going to the Band show.
I can't miss it.
I just, can't.
Again, for reasons you just won't understand.
It's tough to explain.

Last night, Kolton's grandmother comes up to me and hands me a bag.
She told me it and it's contents are mine.
Inside was a video camera.
Woah? Yeah, woah.
It's a cute little DXG.
It has a tripod and a couple of memory cards.
Along with a few extra things.
Weird.
I'm still confused.

Fact: I have an eating disorder that I like to keep secret. Not anerexia or anything.But an eating disorder. I only know of maybe four people who will possibly read this, and I'm okay with them knowing. Kind of.

Nah.

No reason, just 'nah.'

Well, we went to see Grandpa today, and that was fantastic.
GrandmaGrandma was, well, kind of bitchy.
Grandma was awesome.
I'm not feeling  well,
And I feel like I'm being annoyin again. And I feel bad.

KayeLynn and Samantha are going to Silverwood tomorrow.
Guess who wasn't even invited?
Awesome.
Whatever. I know you don't like me.
You would have just bitched at me all day anyway.

I have more to say, a lot of facts, mostly.
But I need Harry Potter.

Fact: I can't swim. Unless you could rock-like swimming abilities. I just can't do it. I'm terrified of deep water, especially when I can't see the bottom.

Huh.

Lately I've been thinking about the things I don't tell you.
Nothing bad, just things that I don't tell, well, anyone.
And, come to think about it, most of them are medical.
Huh. Would you look at that.

From now on, after every blog-post, I will put something that most people don't know about me. Or just something random about myself. Sound like a plan? Sure.
How about a color?
Nah, background is weird. 
How about italicized?
Yes. That sounds good.

Fact: I'm facinated by weird and different diseases. I actually have a few. (Which no one knows about.)

All right.

Maybe that last oe was a slight exaguration.
Things just suck right now.
And I wanted the comfort that I'm used to get from him.
I'm sick of people leaving my life, and I want him back in the general outer layers.
But I don't want him so close that he's forever in my pocket.
But that's not going to happen anyway, so don't get your panties in a bunch.

Just, frick.

A vs. B: The beggining

I've been going back and forth in my mind about this.
For a while.
And I think at least one of you two will read this.
Which should mean something.
I mean, if A reads it, it'll mean A cares and likes to know what I'm doing and my inner most thoughts.
But, sadly, B is more likely to read this. Or at least, he would read this, if it was a few months back. Because I'm a bitch, and B's gone.
But if it B does read it, it'll mean he's still here, which would men more than anything to me at this point in time. I feel comfortable with B, and I feel like I could tell him what I'm thinking now.
Quit frankly, I wish both A and B would read this, but I doubt that.
I mean, both are great, A and B.
B, we had our ups and downs, and A and I have just begun.
But I feel a storm coming on.

Cocerned.

Lately, I've doubted you.
And now that I see those words, typed out on a screen, I beleive them even more.
I always feel like you're lying to me,
Tat you're annoyed by me.
You just want to sleep with me, then leave.
I don't actually think you've ever liked me, besides eighth grade.
It'd be nice if you did, because I really like you.
But if you don't, please don't waste my time.

Wow. I'm a bitch.
I do like you, I just don't want to waste my time.

Attempt and fail.

Recently, I've been concerned bout my body.
Mostly becuse, well, it sucks.
I want to be proud of something about y body for once.
So, I've been running for a few miles each morning and night for the past three weeks.
I've been eating three healthy meals everyday.
I haven't seen any progress.
I haven't dropped a single pound.
In fact, I've gained weight.
So, fuck.

I wish I could be attractive for you.

It's way passed bed time.

So, I wanted to catch up on my nerdfighting this evening, seeing as I've missed a week or so.
I don't like having other people listening to what I'm watching on Youtube.
Especially at 10 at night with a sleeping baby, when I should be fast asleep.
So, I grabbed my headphones, plugged them in, and started enjoying.

About a half hour later, I thought I heard something, so I took my headphones out.
Which is when I realized, I plugged them into the wrong slot.
And John Green was talking for the whole house to hear.
For a half hour.
Man, I'm a jerk.

But I found it kind of funny. But jerky. I'm just glad nobody woke up. Both t.v.'s are on anyway.

Facepalm.