Buddha pocket.

I keep two small coin purses in my back pack.
Ruck sack. Bag. Whatever.
One has a cupcake design. I got in in eigth grade, maybe.
I keep coins in that one, maybe a button or two.
The other is make out of some kind of yarn. It's rainbow.
My money was rainbow colored for all of freshman year.
In this one, I keep my flash drives, my junior year ID and a small Buddha statue.
We are doing podcasts in journalism.
I had to borrow a recorder so I can conduct some interviews today.
I don't like leaving stray electronics in my bag, especially when they aren't mine.
One of the flashdrives went to Greene, so he could pass it on to Zach.
(Zach celebrated NaNoWriMo this year and is allowing me to read it. I'm weirdly excited.)
The recorder wouldn't fit in the coin purse.
I took the Buddha out, stuck it in my pocket.
The recorder fits just fine now.

I have a loose Buddha in  my pocket.

Every time I write one of these, I try to add something new about myself, not just 'this is how my day went, blah blah blah.'

I have a small Buddha and I almost always have it with me.
I would always carry it, if it didn't have a point.
It pokes me in the side constantly.
Almost like a small reminder;
It's always there.

Tubatubatuba.

The Turkey Bowl was the other day.
My last Turkey Bowl ever.
I guess it's different if you're just a passerby
but the band is a family.
It's crazy.
I was nearing tears the entie day.
I love you guys so much, there are no words.
All of the seniors get a little card to write to whomever helped them through the season the most, who has helped them the most over their four year span.
I wrote mine to the tuba section.
Told them how much I love them, how much I'm going to miss them.
I told Joeseph I still want a copy of his book.
I told them to take care of Gus, to teach him the ways of the section.
I told Joeseph that we must go to games next year and mock them with our food.
Most importantly, I asked them to please, PLEASE try not to kill eachother.
We've had some close calls.

Hailley is challenging Justin.
Which means Hailley thinks she would make a better section leader than Justin is and wants to put him to the test.
TC is the judge, of course.
The showdown is
Justin is upset because he was going to challenge Hailley last year, but didn't, so she could have her moment.
He should have done it, yeah.
She is doing it.
Who will win?
I don't know.
I'll be honest, I'm kind of worried for the outcome.
I will have to be both proud and sorry at the same time.
I love them both.
Either way, I'm kind of glad they are going head to head.
It shows they are growing and won't be stepped on anymore.
They will be something in this crazy messed up world.

I love you guys. <3

The number 8

18 posts in 2011 (this will make 19).
81 posts in 2010.
8 posts in 2009.
8 dates with you. (Net dates, I will call them. Sure, you only showed up to two of them. Net.)

Weird. But not really.

Sleepy.

You know what, let's talk about that.
Yeah, I have had six dates solo.
I don't care.
Things happen.
Excuses, excuses.

Last night sucked.
Yeah, I am greatful that I will get to see you at all.
I mean, I'm fine with a blown off date every once in a while, I understand that things come up.
But when it's six in a row, SIX, then you tell me it can only be for such a short amount of time.
It hurt.
If we were both so busy that we could never see each other and that half hour was it, I could deal with that and i would be more than ecstatic.
But you've skipped out six times.
It's like I'm not worth it.
I am excited to see you, every time.
I hide it so you won't see how hurt I actually am.

I am not some little sissy girl.
But I have my moments.
Where I just want to be with you, to hold you hands, see your smile, hear your laugh.
If I continue to build myself up for every time you say we are going to do something,
and you continue to have excuse after excuse,
and I get crushed time and time again,
where would I be?
I wouldn't be able to get out of bed.

I just, I don't know.
I want to know everything about you.
I want you to open up to me.
To not be afraid to tell me what is running through your head at any given moment.
How every moment of your day was.
I want you to know everything about me.
My love of The Mountain Goats, Brett Dennen, Sia, Ok Go, Little Shop of Horrors, Neil Pattrick Harris, magic tricks, blogging, birds, Doctor Who, Dr. Horrible, my brother.
How there is a weird warmth surrounding my hands when I type.
How I find my music.

Maybe these are things for my blog, not for real life.
Where is the line drawn?
Between blog and real life.
It's thin, I can tell you that. And it blinks.
Ha. Get it.

.....

Well, just read that back. To post or not to post, that is the question.
Of course I'm going to post. I always post.
It's a rule.
But my list of things I love.
So lame.
But it's true. I don't have many loves. Those are some.
No matter how obscure.
Well, those ones, not so obscure.

On birds:
I nearly got hit by a car the other day.
There was a bald eagle (I swear!) downtown the other day.
I was busy identifying it while walking across the street.
(It pooped on my shoulder.)
And this truck comes out of nowhere.
Probably over reacting, I crossed in pleanty of time.
It was just so weird.
What was a bald eagle doing in the middle of downtown Nashua?

Another Monday in the library.
I'm not complaining.

An 'alien' skeleton has been found in Peru.
Please, take the time to search for the images, it shouldn't take long.

WHAT.
Skull abnormalities were not uncommon in Peru around the time that this skeleton dates back to.
Now, I believe entirely that aliens exsist.
I mean, this universe is giant; we can't be the only ones.
Also, the whole 'living organisms need this, this, this and this excuse really bothers me.
Who is to say that on other plants living things don't need these things?
Anyway.
I would LOVE if there was legitimate evidence of aliens visiting Earth.
Unfortunately, this is probably not it.
Who is to say they would look even relitively like humans anyway?
They might be blobs.

Thing get better before they get worse.

Let's talk music.

Currently I'm listening to Brett Dennen.
Specifically Comback Kid and Little Cosmic Girl.
'When it rains, it pours, but then it runs out.'
That is a beautiful line, in my opinion.

I've been trying my hand at some recipes.
I'm a vegitarian. I'm the only one in the apartment of three- dad, younger sister, and I.
Therefore, I'm outnumbered.
But I am the only one who cooks.
Yup. I cook meat.
I cook dinner for them and usually have a sandwich or pasta for myself.
I put all of my effort into their food, then I'm too tired and hungry to make anything half way decent for myself.
But that's okay. I like cooking and making people happy.
So sister says to me one day, that she wants pigs in a blanket.
Okay, I'll take a shot at it.
I've made them three times now and I think I have it right.
The first time I made them,  I took a hot dog, wrapped it in a whole piece of cheddar cheese and a cresent.
They oozed everywhere and it took hours to scub off the cookie sheet.
The hotdogs weren't cook completely either.
The next time I used punctured the hot dog in several places before wrapping them and used half of the cheese.
The verdict was not cheesy enough, but the hotdog cooked.
Last time I slit the dog in have, leaving a small bit attached at both ends.
I put the cheese in the middle.
They came out perfect!
I wouldn't know first hand.
It's hard to be a chef when you can't taste your own food.

I love me some cresents, though.

Sia.
OH MY.
She is so good!
I can't stop listening to We Are Born.
It's almost like an alternate universe Florence and the Machine.

I need to finish this column.

Stay a little longer.

Helvetica.
What a lovely font.

I'm having a really tough time writing this article.
I have to write a column about something I am the expert in.
Initially I was writing about concert/marching band and why everyone should experience something like it.
Greene said to go broader and do performance, since most people won't want to join a band.
I don't see why not.
I won't trade this family for anything.
And that massive tuba.
I love it.

I'm not so great at this whol blogging thing.
Although I have been doing a lot, lot, lot more of it lately.
Sometimes I read back over old posts and think 'wow. That seems really (pew) dumb now.'
Yeah. I'm 17. Some of the things I say are going to be girly and dumb.
I apologize for that ahead of time.

Can't Stop

I like you, all right?

Now that that is over, let's move on, shall we?

Today I was given a gift.
It is lovely and it makes me feel tough.
Black eye.
Well, kind of. It might be a black eye.
It's kind of blue on my right eye, to the left on my nose/eye part and to the right. On the bottom too.
Nobody has said anything, so i must not be that noticable.
Sweet.
But still.
Wanna know how I got it?
Sleeping.
Yup.
I woke up this morning with a black eye.
I'm a rouch tough tumbling bitch.

It's raining. Which is unfortunate. I was really hoping to go for a walk this afternoon, instead of sitting in the library for fourth block again. No such luck.
People in here keep mistaking me fo a man.
I'm. Not. A man.
Not even close, actually.

Today is Thursday. Tomorrow is Veterens day.
Which means I will spend the morning in the city parade with my family.
The band.
Man, I'm going to miss you guys here in a few months.
It's crazy that I will be graduating in roughly seven months.

Somtimes I find this whole 'blogging' thing kind of creepy.
I mean, it's not rare for me to be flipping though blogs using the 'next blog' button.
I have seen many blogs.
I don't judge, really.
I like seeing what other people are doing.
I'm going to start adding pictures here.
Even though I don't particularly enjoy photography.
Tourism should not be a spectator sport.
But like I said, I'll be graduating in seven months.
So I want to document my last few months.
Who knows whether or not I will leave this little city or not?
I love Nashua.
Not many people will say that, but I love this city.
Love love love it.
Yeah, I'm sure there are a lot of good cities out there, some even better than Nashua.
But Nashua is the only city of it's kind.
Three high schools. A baseball stadium, a football stadium, a skating rink, crazy amounts of woods.
Half an hour from Boston, an hour to the woods, maybe an hour to Vermont, not long to Maine.
We are the perfect city for those half-way couples.
The ones where they will like the city and the woods.
Want to go to Boston for the afternoon, then head out to go camping in the morning? Nashua is the perfect place for that.
Especially depending on where you live, the city completely changes.
I lived up near one of the three elementry schools for years. It was nice. Half an hours walk from down town, half hour to the school. I lived in 'North territory.' It was so quite. Right by the river.
Another thing. The two public high schools are on the edge of a lake. I love that.
It's the best of both worlds.

But I've got to get out of here.
It's not that I have to get out of Nashua, persay.
I just have to go somewhere.
Travel.
Even if it is just around the country, doing whatever the heck I want.
I've been single for threeish months.
And this crazy 'I can do whatever I want whenever I want, whereever I want with whoever I want' feeling has completely taken over.
I love it.
I mean, I made this dress and I'm really, really proud of it.
(Every time I write/type the word 'really' or 'very' I say a silent 'PEW' to myself, because it's bad. Therefore I must mentally shoot the word away. So, PEW PEW.)
Insanely proud.
I wore it. In public.
Which I NEVER would have thought about doing while in a relationship.
But I did it.
To the Music Department Halloween Party.
And I got compliments.
A lot.
Well, more than I usually do.
Which isn't that many.
So it isn't saying much.
ANYWAY.
I felt confident.
It was amazing.
I can do this.
I can do anything.