To whoever gooogled this, Hi.
Everything sucks right now.
Brian dumped me hardcore.
Like a sack of potatoes.
Like last years shoes.
It was really out of the blue, too. Not like 'we have a problem, let's try to fix it.'
Just, 'hey, I don't love you anymore. Sucks, doesn't it.'
Yeah. It does.
So I get to be a whiny bitch about it, for however long I want.
It happened last Tuesday, for the record.
The day after I made the 'Obi Wan' mug.
So, I have an Obi Wan mug. It mocks me.
I'm not as sad as I'm letting on.
Not as sad as I was.
I cried the entire first day.
I was in such shock.
The second day was easier. Mildly.
I've been progressively crying less and less.
Like backwards cry contractions.
It's like a constantly level of adequate sadness,
then insane highs of sadness.
Then back down again.
Again and again and again.
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James and Pete have really been helping me.
And I can't thank them enough.
I want to document how sad I am right now.
So I can remember.
And whatnot.
I know we weren't together for all that long,
but he promised me so much.
The first (and only) time he ever even vaugely mentioned that he was worried about my age,
Well, that was the first time he ever told me he loved me.
So, forgive me for thinking that you were okay with it.
Then not long after, he told me he wanted me to move in with him.
"After the holidays."
Then he said he wanted to put it off "just a month or two."
So I didn't bother to get another job for "just a month or two."
I had even been looking at jobs down in Gardner. Oh well.
Today, I met a girl who moved to the next town over from Gardner.
And a guy who works with Brian.
All by coincidence.
All by sucky coincidence.
I am sad.
After the whole fiasco with Ryan, at least I had some kind of happiness for a few months.
I'm not trying to make him feel bad or anything,
I don't hate him.
I just wish he knew how bad it hurts.
Plus, he isn't just going to go away forever.
He still has my favorite pants, watchmen, a bunch of books, probably a few socks.
I am sad.
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